The Correct Use of Pity
People say, "If the feeling doesn't come naturally, don't force it." In my tradition of maximum contrariness, I'm going to say the opposite: do force it. Of course, quite often, emotions can take us by surprise. You know how this is: you're saying to yourself, "This is stupid, this is stupid," and then you discover a lump in your throat. You find it a little bit difficult to talk. Your eyes are watering, quite beyond your will. You try to hold it back, but you can't - the tears are welling up, and at a certain point you just let it go, and you feel the tears coming down your cheeks. Those are beautiful moments. I wouldn't trade them for anything. And yet, I'm also going to say that emotions can and should be a matter of will. Emotions are more valuable, the more difficult they are. The emotions that don't come automatically - the ones that are hard to feel - these are often the most important for us to f...