The Problem of the Guy Named Bill
Martha: [holding gun to forehead, sobbing] I can't go on! My life is meaningless! I'm going to end it all! Dick: Don't worry! All your problems are solved! Martha: [straightening up, sniffling] W-What do you mean? Dick: There's an answer to all of your problems. Martha: What is it? Tell me! Dick: Oh, I don't know. Martha: [putting gun back against forehead] I knew it! There's no hope! Dick: Well, I don't know the answers, but I know who does. Martha: Who? Dick: A guy named Bill. Martha: You mean Bill from accounting? Dick: No, a different Bill. Martha: Bill the janitor? Dick: No, you don't know him. Martha: Can you introduce me to him? Dick: I don't know him either. Martha: Well, what's his last name? Dick: I don't know. Martha: You just made Bill up. Dick: No, he's real! Martha: So where is he? Dick: On vacation. Look: this is a pair of shoelaces that once belonged to Bill. That proves it! Martha: So how is this supposed to h