Why I Love Egos

 

Why do I love egos?  It's hard to say....  Why does anyone love what they love?  Why do you love those you love?  In a way, love never has a reason.  (Or at least, not one that one could put into words....)  Because if there is a cause of your love that you could name, that would imply a kind of exchange, or the possibility of an exchange.  It would imply that if something could take away the cause of your love, or present the possibility of getting what you love elsewhere, then you would no longer love the person you love - which would imply that you don't love them in the first place.  So, I cannot assert anything as the reason that I love egos - all I can say is, here are some of the ways that I notice that I love egos.

...And, I'll bet that you love some egos, too.  And I invite you to notice that you love them.  And perhaps notice that you love some egos that you hadn't noticed that you loved.

For love is, truly, the answer.

Just now, I noticed something - there were two moments of noticing, actually (both of them on the internet):

The first was that I saw someone on the internet calling himself "Become God's Will".  A fascinating name.  I don't know anything about this person; I assume that they are a religious conservative, some kind of extreme right winger.  It's a fascinating name.

The second was a video clip of Norman Finkelstein, talking about Lenin.  He claimed to have met Bertrand Russell, who met Lenin, and that even Russell, who detested Lenin, admitted that Lenin was the most egoless person he had ever met - that he was a principle personified, a (Marxist) theory personified, without any personal ego or anything else getting in the way.  Finkelstein said that these kinds of people, who are egoless principles personified, are extremely rare in history - especially in politics.

Now of course, I don't know if any of that is true.  But what if we imagine, just for the sake of argument, that it is true.  Maybe some people can become totally egoless.  Maybe a person can become either (on the left) Marxist theory personified, or (on the right) a person can "Become God's Will."

Would that be a good thing?  Are you sure?

Let's assume, for the sake of argument, here, that God exists.  Would God want you to strip everything away, and merely be a vessel for His Will?  Eliminate and destroy everything else within you?  Maybe.  But then again: God created you.  As you are.  He created you as a person.  A complex, mixed up, thick, dense, gnarly person.  He wanted you to be this way.  Who are you to say that part of his creation is wrong and should be eliminated?

Or, on the other hand, let's assume that Marx's philosophy is true.  Then we ought to be materialists, not idealists.  But isn't the desire to be a "principle personified" a form of idealism?  

Maybe you, with all your confusions, neuroses, pride, rationalizations, etc., are valuable for being who you are.  Maybe it's even better this way.  Maybe all of that funny stuff - that psychic detritus that has built up and formed your bizarre, quirky personality - is actually safer, in some weird way, as well as more beautiful.  Maybe a pure principle personified is a raw nerve, a kind of exposed wiring, uninsulated, electric, a fire hazard?  Maybe there's something good - great, even - about living.  And living means existing as fully fledged, concrete, messy people, and not merely as imaginary abstractions.

Loving this world means loving the egos in it.  And they're all there, ready for you to love them.